Maymond

Monkey see, monkey do. (Taken with instagram)

If I fit, I sit (Taken with instagram)

Cowboys. Aliens. Cowboys. Aliens. Cowboys. Aliens.

Wait, why not both.

And thus Cowboys & Aliens was born. Well, the movies at least. I’m sure the graphic novel it was based on had different origins. Lets face it though, hollywood sees two things they think nerds would like and they jump at the chance to put them in a movie.

That being said, without having read the original graphic novel, I enjoyed the movie for what it was. Cowboys, and indians, fighting against aliens all with a splash of beauty thrown in for good measure. The special effects were well done, and the aliens looked good without being overdone. Nor were they underpowered. It took sending wave after wave of their own men to distract the aliens long enough to sneak an explosive device to just the right place in their ship.

Its like an assault game in Halo mixed with Futurama. Which doesn’t sound half bad.

If you’ve read the graphic novel its worth watching to see how close, or how far off they were. And if you haven’t read the graphic novel, its worth watching to see Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford fighting aliens. On Netflix.

I can’t help but think of Daffy Duck when I hear that line. And even though the theater I prefer to go to has been showing cartoons before the main feature recently I speak not of Looney Toons. I speak instead of the new romantic comedy/action movie This Means War starring Chris Pine, Tom Hardy and Reese Witherspoon.

A nice blend of comedy, action and sap the movie offers something for both halves of a couple. It follows two CIA agents, partners, in their quest not to protect the world but get the girl. Of course they inadvertently save the world along the way but thats only because it happens to coincide with protecting the girl.

Tom Hardy and Chris Pine play off each other perfectly as they attempt to one up each other and prove themselves worthy to Reese Witherspoon. Along the way comedy gives way to honesty as the characters are fleshed out and backstories are revealed. Thankfully it balances the line without going to sappy at the end and brings it all around to a nice funny twist as the end.

All in all its a fun movie that is great for a date night. You’ll laugh, she’ll cry and maybe at the end you will get the girl yourself.

Getting the attention of a woman is one of the hardest things to do so you have got to do this…

What’s that?

The pec pop of love.

And that pretty much sums up Journey 2: The Mysterious Island and lets you know why it was the number one family movie last weekend. Before you say anything, yes I went to see a family movie opening night, but it was either that or The Vow and this was a lot more entertaining.

The movie is exactly what you would expect from the trailers, a fun movie for the whole family with plenty of adventure and comedy. It follows a son and his stepfather as they search for “the mysterious island” referenced throughout classic literature. Along the way they pick up the cliche love interest for the son and the comic relief in the form of Luis Guzman.

Now of course, I can’t really talk about the movie without talking about the 3D which is the format in which I saw the movie. That was partly due to the fact that is was the best time to see the movie and that it looked like a good implementation of 3D. Which it was. But that probably has to do with the fact that it was used primarily for comedic purposes that added to the movie without interfering with the plot.

Which yes, there was a plot, unbelievable as it was. Suspension of belief is required to get full enjoyment out of the movie, but thats to be expected. Mini-elephants, giant bees, gold spewing volcanoes and people able to traverse a large island in a short span of time with one bottle of water and no bathroom breaks.

Jokes aside Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is a fun ride and well worth seeing, especially in 3D. Sure its a family movie, but that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it, in an almost empty theater, for the last showing of the night.

C’mon, rapid fire.

I’m mad as hell and I’m not gonna take it anymore.

Well, maybe I’m not that mad, but I’m not going to take it anymore. By it I mean Image Comics own Haunt, created by Robert Kirkman and Todd McFarlane. Pretty good pedigree to start a new comic IP and I tend to be a bit of a sucker for certain creators when it comes to comic books so I didn’t hesitate to get the new title. Started off good too, with great art and an interesting story that kept you reading from month to month to see how things progressed.

Then, just as the story was starting to open up they went and switched creative teams. Nothing wrong with that, it happens all the time in comics. Better to have a new creative team and an on-time ongoing book than to have strained creators late with their work or putting out subpar material. Not to mention it can breath new life into a book to get a new look or take on things. Normally I keep reading a book through whatever creative team changes happen. Of course there is always an exception.

The art changed drastically and while it does fit with the overall new feel of the book it is in a style that I have trouble reading. It doesn’t help that the story feels like it took an abrupt halt, switched tracks and went off the rails at 200 miles an hour. As I said, creative teams change all the time and it usually doesn’t change anything. This time however I just can’t keep reading. Its only the second time I’ve done that, the other being Fallen Angel.

Thats not to say I wish the current creative team anything but success, far from it. I’m sure there are plenty who like the direction the book is going in and hopefully the book keeps going and remains a success for Image and those involved.

Why my writing is the way it is.

Just 30 more minutes mom, please?

Thats all that separated Underworld: Awakening from being an enjoyable movie and being a good movie, all of thirty minutes. Coming in at a scant 88 minutes the movie is for fans of the franchise and no one else. Of course, thats like saying the cheddar you put out at a party is for the cheese lovers. As the fourth movie in the franchise its not really for anyone but the fans though it could have brought new fans in for the older movies.

Taking it for what it is, Underworld: Awakening is entertaining enough and at least warrants a view on Netflix. Kate Beckinsale fits back into the role of Selene nicely and the rest of the cast does a pretty good job with what they were given. The visuals were nice for the most part, save for the occasional blatant CGI werewolf. I thankfully managed to see the movie in 2D so I can’t comment on the 3D but with how dark the movie was and how fast some of the action moved I have to imagine it would make things worse.

Though with the way I have been writing so far you would think things couldn’t get much worse. As I said, the movie certainly warrants watching once it hits Netflix or your on-demand service of choice. But it could have been more. The beginning could have used another 10-15 minutes to better flesh out the main plot involving the purge, otherwise known as the reason for the movie. And one or two characters could have used more backstory to make their actions more believable and meaningful.

Which is I guess the point. The movie wasn’t so much bad as it was disappointing. I enjoyed the first two movies in the series, and have yet to see the third, this one just left me a little wanting. Of course they will fill that void of wanting more by putting out the next movie in the series which the end of this one set up so nicely.

You have a choice. Your Chinese food or your soul.

Let me start off by saying I wanted to like this whole movie, I really did. How could I not, it has Jason Statham, Robert DeNiro and Clive Owen. Not to mention that guy who’s name you can never remember from Prison Break and Blade: Trinity. Yeah, that guy.

Okay, now that I have out there I can say what I really thought, and that is that I liked the first 3/4 of the movie. The parts that actually made sense. Based on a true story of SAS involvement in Oman in the 1980’s the movie follows Danny, Jason Statham, as he tries to save his mentor Hunter, Robert DeNiro. The plot is set up simply enough as you are introduced to Danny and Hunter as they are on a mercenary contract that goes wrong and causes Danny to get out of the game. Because no one likes confirming their kill while the targets son watches on. Did no one see what happened at the start of the Bourne Identity.

Any who, once Danny quits of course the first thing that is bound to happen is something causes him to get back in the game. In this case its his mentor Hunter getting captured and him being forced to complete a contract. Simple enough except the contact is to kill three SAS agents all the while not being killed by their former handler Spike, Clive Owen. This leads of course to murder, mayhem and in general plenty of worthwhile action.

Not content to leave well enough alone the last 1/4 of the movie or so decided to elevate bit players from earlier in the movie to key roles and throws conspiracies and whatever else at the plot. And instead of ending on a high note leaving the viewer happy with what they just watched the movie drags out just enough more to end the movie as flat as they could.

Plot complaints aside the movie contains enough action to warrant a viewing to form your own opinions on the matter. Plus, how can you go wrong with main characters named Danny, Hunter and Spike. Its like three kids out terrorizing the old people in their neighborhood on Halloween.